bubbly...

wowwww. it's crazy how the person who my previous blog was about actually doesn't deserve me. aside from me waiting on him.... and waiting... and waiting. he actually doesn't serve me. and right now i'm emphasizing a difference between not deserving me and me deserving better. of course, i deserve better. i mean... after all, i'm waiting on a boy with a girlfriend. i'm waiting on a boy who leads me on and strings me along. but even aside from all of that fuckery he doesn't deserve me. aside from the girlfriend, he doesn't deserve me. i mean... why should he? i feel like he tricked me into loving him. he lied his way to get me to follow his lead. and that's a damn shame. it's a damn shame that i find out the truth about situations that 1) happened a long ass time ago and 2) i already asked about. and the day before yesterday you asked me if i trusted you in spite of you having me and someone else, and i realized that i didn't. but as i was talking to someone about the situation, i realized that even aside from the girlfriend issue, i still don't trust you bc of things that happened (or didn't happen) with other females. and then. and then! i find out that they really did happen! wtf?! does that make any fucking sense? absolutely not. i trusted you. i gave you my heart. i made exceptions. i made excuses. and for what now? i have no idea. bc now you just look like a manipulator of words. a man... no. a BOY who received my heart by using the magic (the bullshit) behind his words. what a damn shame.